so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
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Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
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If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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