i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
