they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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