Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
