Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
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I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
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Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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