you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
