he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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