So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I party with great urgency now.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize