you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
