I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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