I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Randomize
