I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
