He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
