I hate your face
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
