At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
