I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
