Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
