I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
