She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
