Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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