Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
