Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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