I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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