Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
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The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
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I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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