direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
