You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
