i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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