oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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