READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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