Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
