the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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