Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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