I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
