I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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