he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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