people are starting to question the shark bite story
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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