Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
