It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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