Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
