I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
