Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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