you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
