I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
