So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
