I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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