He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
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Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
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Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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