I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
