she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize