Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
