I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize