So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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