The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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