I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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