Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
