If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
