i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
