woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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