this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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