I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
