Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
