When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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